He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
