You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
