And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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