I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
