Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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