Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
