That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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