the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
