Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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