i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
