Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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