last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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