it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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