I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
