She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize