I didn't shave. On purpose
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
