OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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