Do vagina's smell?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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