do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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