if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
