He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Randomize