Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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