pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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