There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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