when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
True but thats because hes a fetus.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
