i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
