I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Randomize