so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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