It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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