We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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