Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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