Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
