dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
