you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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