Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
