kristin has been a bad kristin
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
