I accidentally burped into my bong.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Vodka?
Forever.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Randomize
