yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
