I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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