I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
