Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
