Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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