if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
