So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Randomize
