My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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