life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
you made out with another girl for some wings
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
