pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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