she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
