I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
