So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
