What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
