i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
