she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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