I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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