i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize