break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
This house was built for laser tag.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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