Swine flu. Run for my life!
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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