Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize