If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
