They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
