There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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