I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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