Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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