There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
