So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
