and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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