I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
