I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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