OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
