I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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